This is what Little Boys are Made Of.

On Saturday I turned the channel to an episode of Justice League Unlimited. The episode featured these things:

superheroes
dinosaurs
cowboys
tanks
robots

It was like an awesome, animated shotgun blast at every little boy demographic. Kudos, DC Comics!

I never update this blog because...

watching TV > writing about TV

Taradise Found!

FINALLY!

I meant to post this last week, but let's just say that this show had me dumbfounded until this very moment. It took a week to process the experience of the first episode. The show? Wild On Tara, of course. It would be an understatement to say I was looking forward to seeing this show. Saying that is on par with saying something like "My hair was on fire, so my head was kind of warm."


Anyway, so in the first episode, Tara goes to Greece to hang out with Paris Hilton and her then-beau, Man Paris. I spent almost the entire episode trying to decide if the show was living up to my expectations, not living up to my expectations or far surpassing my expectations. It was like my brain stopped working. That was when I realized that this show was so good - so transcendent of the medium of television - that it actually crawled inside of my brain, clubbed what must have been a hefty number of my cells and struck me as dumb as the subject on my screen. I couldn't think or speak coherently. I was drunk on Taradise.

Awesome.


All I was expecting from Taradise were the simple pleasures of watching the booze-fueled misadventures of a bloated C-list starlet as she stumbles her way through Europe. But I really got to know Tara. And I'm only on episode 2! So far I've found out that Tara isn't just the movie star equivalent of a homecoming court princess with her head in the toilet after drinking too much limo-champagne and puking on her prom dress in the parking lot, she's that homecoming queen if she were plucked out of remedial grade 9 classes, raised without learning any concept of shame or humiliation and cursed with a vocabulary almost totally limited to "like, oh my GOD!" Watching her suckle at the fame-teet of Paris Hilton is television at it's best. And on tonight's episode she was literally soaked in booze. Literally! It's like the fine folks at E! have a Allegorical Strike Squad as part of the Taradise production team.

Long story short: see you next week, Tara!!

2 Men... 2 Bikes... 20000 Miles...

I have, at long last, found a new love. Strangely enough it's on the Outdoor Life Network, also known as That Channel That I Have To Flip Through To Get From The Space Channel To The Comedy Channel, also known as The Why Won't This Channel Go Away? Channel. The object of my pixelated affection? Long Way Round.


It's actually a wee reality mini-series from 2004, but that's ok. I think by now it's obviously safe to say that I like repeats. The show is a six-part series that trots along with Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman as they take a three and a half month motorcycle trip around the world. They go from London to Siberia, Kazakhstan, Mongolia, Alaska, Calgary, a bunch of the midwestern US and New York. I managed to catch the last three of the six episodes while on my holiday vacay, and I just saw the first one tonight. Oh, to see episodes two and three! It's fantastic! Beautiful countryside, exciting motorcycle drama and touchy-feely man-friends! You wouldn't see this kind of stuff if it were George Clooney and Richard Kind riding around on hogs. Oh, no. No, no, no. You have to leave this stuff to the Brits.

In case you don't know, Ewan McGregor is, of course, Ewan McGregor: star of moving pictures and heartthrob to heroin addicts and Star Wars nerds everwhere. Charley Boorman is, of course, Charley Boorman: "1st Yuppie Drinker" in the 1996 TV mini-series classic, Karaoke, and "Theif" in the 1990 Jeff Goldblum juggernaut star-vehicle, Mister Frost. I can't believe he let the cameras behind the curtain. Wow.

My favourite moment of the series (so far) is from the episode where Our Heroes are driving through Alberta and some 18ish year old kid hits Ewan McGregor's motorcycle from behind, while they're on a highway going, like, 80km/hr. McGregor and his bike are apparently scooped up by the hand of God, while the front of the kid's Honda is totally fucked. And then the kid has to get out of his car and get a "kids today!" lecture while it obviously dawns on him that he nearly killed Obi Wan Kenobi and he internally thanks his lucky stars that the Force is strong with that one. AWESOME!

So, anyway, these two should totally star in the TV series version of Brokeback Mountain. Check it:

I need a new muse.

Posting about Dallas would be too weird and pointless. Unless, of course, I was typing up my TV-watching reports on a VIC-20 or wearing an Izod and imitation Ray Bans and really committing myself to reliving 1982.

So I need a new show to fall in love with. I'm up for suggestions. I basically just watch repeats of Star Trek: The Next Generation and CSI when I'm not watching repeats of Dallas and The Hardy Boys. Obviously I need help. Obviously I need the Farriss Brothers to start a variety show.

A 7-day-a-week habit worse than smoking, and more addictive:

I miss good TV.

Why isn't there anything good on?